Tapestry of Voices
by ForeverinWonderland
Summary: Same voice, different lives. This is where they intertwine. Reincarnations, Meetings, a Swap of Certain Aspects. Coincidence, Pain and Laughs. CHAP 1: Rin Matsuoka and Joker (Black Butler)


**Requiem here...**

**So this'll be just fics featuring a Free chara and another character who shares their voice in a crossover of any sorts, whether through crack, comedy, angst, etc. OCs may be in some, may not, but meh, their roles will be used when needed (ex: Making Gou Beast would be kinda weird)**

**Updates... I don't know. Sporadic but each chapter will be at least 1k. Homework and volunteering and piano and drama tend to take up so much of my energy, I end up like a kid I once knew when it comes to fanfictions. In other words, "Wat?! Stahp! I dun wanna zip my pants!"**

**An important thing here is that this is for Aria. We planned this together but I kinda head-started and warped it a little, trying to make her cry or laugh because she's had some pretty shitty stuff happen to her lately that I couldn't be there for due to circumstances we both know and I'll be posting this on the day I get to see her again after over a month (joined by who I now dub "Serenade" and "Lullaby")  
>How this concerns you? In practically no way, except the anticipation of the "Swimming ShroomApologetic Dolphin," "The Norse Trickster God Rei Hiddleston," and the most beautiful elf, "Rei of Mirkwood."  
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**Yes. Those are real. Picture it, and laugh. And if you draw it for me, bonus points. And to you Aria. Happy Late Thanksgiving and Early Halloween.**

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><p><em>Warning: Extreme angst and spoilers for Book of Circus. And a random OC who's not really in the spotlight so meh.<em>

Rin/Joker

Rin shot up out of the bed, heart pumping and lungs heaving, as his hand grasped the sheets with trembling fingers. Fragments of something foreign and familiar, sharp like glass, were flung around in his mind like a whirlwind of knives, shredding his conscience and memories into unrecognizable bits. Clutching his head in pain, Rin could feel his chest grow tight and breaths go short as he stared at his shaking hand.

Wait.

_Hand?_

That... That wasn't right. Rin had two hands, skin and bone and completely natural. Calluses and trimmed nails.

But... But Joker had one. Joker had one hand. _All bone. Cow-no. Human bone. Child bone. Bone of those he led like lambs to slaughter in that dark, dark-_

Rin felt a lump in his throat and swallowed the bile that threatened to rise.

_**Joker had one hand and orange hair and purple eyes and-**_

Wet hacking could be heard through the brightly lit room, as his breakfast travelled from his heaving stomach and into a nearby bucket, conveniently placed next to his bed.

Gradually awakening, a disgruntled Sousuke from beside his bed looked towards the shivering Rin, arms clenched to his head and knees resting up to his chin.

"... Rin?"

The boy did not respond.

He was not Rin. But he was. No, he was Joker wasn't he?

_**NO!**_

_He didn't want to be Joker, who kidnapped those children and __**killed them and-and-and-**_

A squeal resounded, barely making a dent in the whirlwind of thoughts flying through his mind.

Carefully lifting himself out of a chair, Sousuke steadily lowered himself onto Rin's bed before laying a hand on his red _(blood-the colourofblood-) _hair, grounding his friend in the only way he could.

_Rin. Joker. Rin. Joker._

**Who was he again?**

With a gentle hand ruffling his hair softly, the boy shook, mind recalling the bits and shards of another hand, smaller but wrinkly and fat. He could see it, stubby like a faux imitation of a child's. Wide, maniacal eyes like a twisted reflection of a naïve child. Giggles and snickers like a butchering of the naïve children who followed him, followed him like the Pied Piper and _dOWnDoWndoWN into the rabbit hole wheretheyslammedintothegroundand__**broke.**_

A whimper escaped his throat, vulnerable like the white dyed red rabbit who led Alice to her nightmare of Wonderland.

He had to be Rin.

**Rin**. Rin was the one with friends and happiness and dreams and warmth. Rin had love and swimming and fun…

Joker was the one with responsibilities and guilt and sadness and a bone-chilling despair. Joker had something like love but not and the Circus and pain-

_Joker was__** dead.**_

_Rin was __alive._

Shaking and breaking, the boy lifted his distant eyes to stare at the man who he knew- _but Joker didn't know him-_ and spoke in a voice that couldn't hide the tremors rippling through his mind burdened with too many memories.

"Who am I..?"

Sousuke stared at him, teal eyes that were so familiar, before beginning with a solemn promise. "You are Rin Matsuoka."

Rin. Matsuoka. Not Joker. Rin Matsuoka with red hair and red eyes, dyed and reflecting the blood in his last life.

_'My name is Joker and welcome to the Circus!'_

"I am Sousuke, your childhood friend."

Sousuke… They swam together didn't they? Within the water, free. Free of memories and thought…

_'And in comes Dagger, our knife extraordinaire!'_

"There is Haruka Nanase, or Haru as you call him."

Haru… He who introduced "free," the thought of letting everything fade away in the embrace of the water and blow the screaming away…

_'Here we have Doll! Pure and dainty, there's our lil' princess!'_

"Makoto Tachibana is a friend of yours too."

_'In comes Jumbo!'_

"Rei Ryugazaki and Nagisa Hazuki are your friends as well."

_'Doctor and Snake.'_

"Momotarou and Nitori."

_'Peter and Wendy.'_

Sousuke let out a huff and the tips of his lips quirked up. "You've even got a girlfriend now… Mizuki."

_"Beast..."_

_Dark hair and eyes full of passion…_

Sousuke gripped his shoulders firmly, looking straight into his eyes.

"Mizuki. Not Beast. You are Rin. Not Joker."

_He was not... Joker..?_

Then why did his heart feel so heavy?

Why did he look at Gou sometimes with utter confusion? Because he had no sister, his whore of a mother had died before he could've met his younger sibling. Why would he stare at his father with blank apathy for the man who'd fucked his "mother" then left without a care for the prostitute?

Why could he juggle with no teaching or lead a crowd with charisma and make everyone laugh with a drop of a hat? Because if he was Joker, he would've learned those skills as a Ring Leader, right?

_Joker..._

_He wasn't Joker?_

_Crimson eyes reflected __**their **__blood. Crimson hair coated in __**their **__blood. Shaking hands with cuts and crescent gouges always covered in so much blood like the lies that spouted from his mouth he wished he could sew shut with every black whisper that slipped, seductive and promising…_

Through the door, a slight crack appeared, and in slipped a girl with black hair _(Beast?)_ who rushed to his side to hold onto his hand _(that wasn't supposed to be there)._

With a nod to Sousuke and a smile, Mizuki turned her eyes _(green, not red)_ to look at Joker.

"Rin?"

Joker did not respond. Because he was Joker, not Rin.

Mizuki sent a worried look at Sousuke, hand reaching towards her bag in a silent question to grab the mirror.

But the man shook his head no.

Because the person sitting on that hospital bed, looking pale and broken was Joker right now, not Joker/Rin.

Instead, the girl bit her lip in a way that sent something like familiarity into Joker's heart as the desire to kiss the frown from her lips arose.

But he didn't know her, did he? Or maybe he did... Black hair... Always so anxious and emotional...

_Black hair… Always flushing as red as her eyes that burned with passion and…_

_Sadness?_

_Beast? Are you okay?_

Mizuki stared at his purple _(red)_ eyes, and whispered a begging, pleading, "Rin..."

_He wasn't Rin!_

"Rin... You know that name don't you?"

Joker shook his head.

_He didn't know a Rin!_

_A strange name for a child… Emily, Matthew, Sebastian, Finnian, Elizabeth, all names he was familiar with. Rin… Who was Rin? He or she? Blonde, brunette, black? Age? Number 1? Filled with panic and begging for help? Number 27? Tearful and crying for her mummy?_

"Then do you know the name Mizuki?"

Her smile wavered, a dim hope shining through her eyes, like _the children who'd stare at him through the cages, focused on the keys in his left hand, not the knife in his right._

'_Practice.'_

_Practice for when __**he'd come.**_

_**He **__whom his beloved (twistedwarpeddestroyedshatteredWHY) father waited for-_

Purple _(red) _eyes stared at her red _(green) _eyes.

Joker stared. "Beast."

Something pained flashed through the girl's eyes. "No... Mizuki."

Joker didn't know why she was insisting. In a firm voice, he furrowed a brow in confusion at her. "Beast."

Beast just sighed, heavy and lost, before turning his hand grasped in her own upwards, rubbing the palm in comforting circles.

Staring in confusion through his hanging orange _(red)_ locks, Joker looked at the appendage. "Where's my hand?"

Sousuke muttered, "It's right there."

_What?_

He thought, trying to clench the hand, but it wouldn't move.

_That wasn't his hand._

"No it's not. That's not my hand."

"Ri-"

Beast cut him off. "No I guess it's not your hand. But weren't you doing another magic trick for me?"

He thought back. He was?

She continued weakly _(sincewhendidBeastspeaklikethat?)_ "You replaced your hand with this to show me a new magic trick, right?"

Joker furrowed his brow. He didn't know any magic tricks like that. "Sorry Beast." He didn't understand just what she was thinking.

_Beast wouldn't make such a weak excuse. They were actors in the circus, capable of coming up with words from thin air and speak with utter confidence._

_Who was she? She with the shaking eyes and knees and voice?_

_**Black hair. Red eyes. Warm and gentle.**_

Beast winced, an action that sent worry into his chest.

"Beast? Are you okay? Is your leg hurting you? Maybe we could have the Doctor check on it."

The lion tamer shook her head. "My leg's fine... Joker."

He ignored her hesitance, contributing it to her possible injury. "Are you sure? Dagger will be pretty worried if he finds out your leg's hurting."

"I'm fine Joker."

Silence reigned supreme, Joker staring at her with every intention of finding what was wrong.

"Ri-Joker."

The deep voice startled him.

His head whipped to his side to stare at the man who seemed to suddenly appear in his periphery vision.

_Who? Where? Ah! You must be-_

"Dagger? Since when were you here?"

_Dagger, he who was always by his side, right? This was Dagger!_

"You know, Joker, I think you should go to sleep again..."

In response, Joker cocked his head, lips smiling teasingly at his friend's unlikely concern. "Why should I Dagger? I'm not sick am I?"

Beast just laughed, something like nervousness ill-concealed in her voice, confusing Joker more. Why weren't they laughing? Why weren't they smiling?

"Beast? Are you sure you're okay Beast?"

"I told you I'm fine Joker. But you're not. You're sick right now."

Joker just smiled, lifting his hand to caress her cheek. "Ah that makes sense. Must've caught Smile's little cough."

Dagger sighed. "Yeah. You caught Smile's cough."

A sheepish smile appeared on his face before a worried frown took its place. "Dagger? Did you catch the cough too? You sound different."

Beast gave a sniffle, alerting Joker to what looked like watery eyes and a red nose. "Beast! Don't tell me you caught it too!"

She only smiled a wavering smile, teeth biting her lip as she shook her head.

"That's good, 'cause we can't have our star beast tamer out of commission! I'll promise I'll get better by tomorrow! After all, we've got a show to run, don't we?"

All she did was lay a hand behind his head and on his forehead, slowly pulling his head down onto the soft pillow. "Please, please, get better soon."

And she pecked his _lips (since when were he and Beast in a relationship?)_ and left the room.

...

"... Dagger?"

The man didn't look up, blonde _(brown)_ hair covering his face.

"Make sure Beast is okay, got that?"

...

"... Yeah. I will. Just..."

Joker smiled, patting a hand of cold ceramic bones on Dagger's head. "Don't worry. I'll get better, Dagger."

"... I hope to God you will."

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><p>Together, Sousuke and Mizuki left the hospital, gaits as slow as a funeral march.<p>

Since when was Joker dead?

Joker was sitting in that hospital bed, not Rin.

Rin...

Rin's dead.

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><p><strong>Erm... Yeah... Had this for like... a month? Two? Woops...<strong>

**Hmm... IDK I just wanted to make Aria cry and I almost succeeded so I edited it and now I'm posting it and oh God asdf  
>How I'm prob going to do this is that I have a list of seiyuu and characters that I can crossover and stuff... Feel free to make requests like make an OC name and hair and eye colours, maybe with a prompt and chosen crossover. I'll definitely take them all into consideration although the main things it'll serve as is motivation to release that specific thing faster.<br>I've got a One Piece fic soon ready to go and inspiration for Tokyo Ghoul one-shot so far so more fics might be coming out...**

**Review in hopes that someday... The Book of Circus will turn out happier... And the Titanic and P4 arc will come out because asdf Lizzie I always liked you and now I frickin love you and asdf I love her brother soooo much.**


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